9 Things Marriage Has Taught Me – It Starts With Coffee

This October marks 7 years since Andrew and I got married. I don’t feel like I am an expert but I do feel like we have a really great, and happy marriage. We’ve had our fights, our rough patches, and our share of tough times, but marriage is all about learning and growing together. Marriage has also taught me many things and I want to share 9 things marriage has taught me today.

9 things marriage has taught me

9 Things Marriage Has Taught Me


  • Always kiss goodnight: Even if you’re exhausted, or mad at each other make sure you kiss goodnight. I feel as it softens even the craziest arguments.
  • Never go to bed or leave the house angry: When we were first married I was so bad about storming out and wanting Andrew to follow behind. I learned quickly, that was NOT his personality. So now when we are angry or upset with each other we don’t go to bed that way or leave the house. We talk it through.
  • Don’t run from problems/fight fair: Again don’t run away when things get hard and always fight fair. This means no tally keeping. None of the “well you did X so I did Y.” Take responsibility for your part in a situation and don’t keep score.  Don’t give low blows. This website, book, etc are wonderful.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help: I mean from a professional. Everyone should be required to do marriage counseling in my opinion and if everyone did I think we would have a lot fewer divorces.
  • Always put your marriage first: Even before your kids. Your kids should see you happy and loving each other and if you don’t put each other first things will be very lonely when kids grow up. Also, put your marriage first before EVERYTHING else. Marriage always has to come first.
  • Date each other: Get dressed up, go to dinner. Pay for the babysitter or ask a grandparent/friend. Go for a walk alone. Just never stop dating.
  • Don’t let the romance fade: Leave each other little notes on post-its, hold hands, grab your honey’s behind every now and then. Trust me you’ve got to keep the romance alive!
  • Be silly together as often as you can: I am usually the instigator of being silly. I am the one to turn on music in the kitchen while we clean up, or just make jokes. Laughing together is just the best and always takes the edge off of arguments or tough times too.
  • Make vacations a priority: They don’t have to be crazy out-of-the-country vacations, but a weekend away even is important. We try to do one trip together a year and a few one night aways at local hotels when we can. It’s a good way to reset and just have uninterrupted time together.

If you are married or in a long-term relationship do you agree with these things? Anything else you’d add to the list?

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